Kashur wedding (khandar) is all fun with the lovely female folk, starting from cute chubby toddlers dressed in beautiful uncomfortable dresses to old great grannies who have only one job “Doikher Karun.”
Now let me mark some other categories of women in the festivities.
My favorite is the “chulbuli, chan chabeli” girls with names like Janu, Sonu, Monu, Simi, Pinki, Rani, etc. One can find them in small gangs, often unmarried of course; with the latest designer wear, zabardast artificial jewelry, achi wali, hairstyle crisp, nail polish cham-cham, pouting, clicking selfies in every nook and corner. One just loves to see them. They are so chirpy chirpy and bubbly bubbly. Oh! but these girls are the last ones to get ready. They are in fact “getting ready” for eternity but these kori are your go-to person in shadiz. Always ready to go to the market, do idhar-udhar kai kaam; in between getting ready. Ask them how do I look, and they will give you an expert answer. They always have extra pins and an iron and press palav. They do ironing of sab dostun n dushmano kay kapday. They are sab ki make up girls.
Dulhan ka room sajana is their birthright.
There are girls who are recently engaged. You can find them in the corner clicking pictures and sharing them and you know with whom. Then there are newly married girls. They will be twinning with their husbands. Zabardast tilla-work dresses, beautifully designed brocade or parch dresses, matching clutches and sandals; and gold, gold, and gold. They are a beautiful version of Bappi Lehri. Throughout the wedding, they are busy doing khairpaath.
Also, there are young ladies with kids. They are always running after the young ones, feeding, cleaning and dressing them and repeating the same cycle over and over again. Oh! and what do they wear; whatever they fit into, yes they have grown in size.
No khandar is complete without wanvun tumbakhnari beyi noet. You have a set of ladies singing in melodious voices “dekho sab mehmaan dulhan aalishan dulhan aalishan.”
Some are eternally pareshan aatmaz, all they do is lose keys!
Now some ladies will be going from room to room asking “tohi ma kensi wartav lifafeh.”
Some will be asking: “Tai Janu dur kash ma tohi kaanh Nazri” and Janu will be a smart chulbuli girl. She will say “Chachi lo meri pin sai duri ko fit karo.” Chachi happy with Janu will have another farmayish: “tai jigar wondmaiyi mai lag aakh sormi tuej” and Janu is not old school to use sormi tuej. She has Chambor ka kajal which she happily uses to beautify her Chachiz eyes, meanwhile, Chachi scans her make-up, jewelry, dresses.
Some ladies will barge into the all-girls dressing room and say: “balai lagai tohi ma dur kansi, si’tchan; shikas ladan cha ne yath thav machi seeth.”
There are always some ladies who hold big forts like the Chai samawar, Kahwe samawar, Rohan-pran tcharun, dan tulun, etc.
They are the last ones to get dressed and take 15 minutes tops to get ready.
They do aabeh thomb, sormi tuej, kangu and kapday change! Hang on something is missing, her dupatta. It is still with the dyer.
And then the Janu team are off to market to fetch her dupatta, meanwhile, she calls someone to fill them with the latest details.
Now we have some, basically one or two ladies in the whole family, they are the most trusted ones. Who are they?
Come on they are the ones who write Wartav. They are most trusted, honest, alert, good at maths. They suddenly appear in the tent with a chair, a big bag, a pen, and a notebook. Their entry creates more buzz than a bride’s entry.
We also have the curious ones. Oh, they check kya suzuv, kya trovuv, kutah dyutuv, kyah votuv, kus aav, kus drav, kyah chu zebti, kyah chune shubaan, yeman kyazi pricuv, human kyazi prichuvni, mardav kheowa batte, kem kyah kor wartav.
Allah taalah thevnakh sarni sehat
Mahliqa Muzafer is a keen culture watcher and writer from Kashmir. Her email is firstname.lastname@example.org