Unheard Ordeal of a Half Widow

 

Khan Ansur

 

life has become a dirge,

torn image,

I’ve become alike

silence has engulfed my life

so, entangled in melancholy

 

decade passed,

as if a century I’ve gone through,

with your memories,

still waiting for you,

 

vividly I remember those days,

when you used to kiss my forehead

you used to give me Eidi on every Eid

perhaps I live on,

by rejoicing those moments

somebody take me to my love

 

in an unending wait, I’m

which has made me,

a living corpse alike…

since when you disappeared,

never have I wore ornaments,

never have I prettified myself

as for you only,

my beauty has life….

 

I become mute and aglossal

whenever our child asks me about you

without you,

everything seems gloomy

as if,

flowers have lost their bloom

wind is same, without breeze

so are mounts, without serenity

 

I see no change,

in any motion of sun

I feel no warmth,

in any moment now

and no harmony I’ve,

without you my love

no peace comes to my door

 

did you forget your promise,

of never leaving me alone!!

how can you leave me??

our souls lived together!!

have you forgotten that too??

 

always I pray for you,

in twilights

on the door, I always stare,

for you may come,

never my eyes blink,

 

except quivering soul,

I’ve nothing,

not even tears also!!

day & night, I go by mourning

from every side,

sleepless nights I always observe,

since when you disappeared

nightmares have surrounded me,

 

you’re alive, in my heart

come back, O’ my crown

without you,

irrelevant and aimless,

my existence serves

I hear no bird chirping

I see every tree mourning

after when you disappeared

as if I had rendezvous with any calamity

 

for you,

I’ve renounced this world

like every saint,

now every stranger knows me

as in search of you,

I walk miles every day

since when you disappeared!!

 

insane I’ve become,

for your single countenance

so also I crave for our reunion

I talk gibberish, I’m deranged,

people comment about me

what’s its reason?

only you know

O’ my confidant

come back, O’ my love,

where have you been!!

O’ my moon of blissfulness

my shrieks are calling you

 

Khan Ansur is an Independent Researcher and Aspiring Social Worker based in Srinagar, Indian Occupied Kashmir (IOK)

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